Here, for the holidays, is a song about the many sterling qualities of Santa Claus. It’s also the only song I’ve written in Italian. It begins:

Babbo Natale pranza in letto.
Babbo Natale balla sul tetto.
Babbo Natale evita le frotte.
Babbo Natale viaggia di notte.

Santa Claus eats in bed.
Santa Claus dances on the roof.
Santa Claus avoids crowds.
Santa Claus travels by night.

I was happy to be part of “The Jim Turner Smorgasbord of Koo Koo,” a benefit for Manhattan’s Dixon Place, which took place at Dixon Place on Dec. 1, 2018. The lineup included Jim Turner, naturally, as well as David Felton, Mark Fite, Dale Goodson, Toby Huss, and 2 Headed Dog.

I sang five of my songs: “A Different Point of View,” “Little Two-Headed Kitten,” “James,” “Peepee Caca Fucky Fuck,” and “Ptooey.” The audience was large and enthusiastic, and Dixon Place made some money.

Another piece from my student days: a brief outburst for flute, ‘cello, and piano four hands. I was 17 at the time.

A short trio for flute, clarinet, and bassoon, with a few notes for offstage violin, just to confuse the audience. I wrote this when I was 17; it’s been recopied for legibility.

A setting for women’s voices of a brief prayer by Benjamin DeCasseres: Give me this day a corroding doubt and deliver me from single-mindedness and all faith that I may scan the Centre from each point on the marvellous Circle and scan each point on the Circle from the illusive Centre; and let not my procreating disbeliefs fall away from me, and defraud me not of pain.

The eleventh string quartet is a revision of one I wrote back in 1988. It has three movements, each 59 measures long.

101 Cartoons from Le Chat Noir: Early Comics from Bohemian Paris is now available from Black Scat Books!

“Le Chat Noir” was one of the liveliest avant-garde papers in 19th century Paris. Published by the legendary cabaret, it delivered a weekly blast of anarchism, pranks, Decadent poetry, and black humor by such luminaries as Alphonse Allais, Charles Cros, and Paul Verlaine. It was also famous for its cartoons. Here are 101 of them: the poetic fantasies of Adolphe Willette, the slapstick animals of Théophile Steinlen, the military sketches of Caran d’Ache, the bawdy gags of Döes and Fernand Fau, and much more. With an introduction, translations, and notes by Doug Skinner.

You can find it on Amazon, or from Black Scat Books.

Shakespeare’s 28th sonnet is, like Bottom, translated, by changing one letter in each word. The clinamen is in the 3rd line, where “oppression” is changed to “expression.”

SHAKESPEARE MISSPELLED

Now man, O when deturn on hoppy flight,
What ax debarked thy bone-fit or rust?
Then dad’s expression, as now, bas’d my might,
Cut hay be right, any fight my way oppresses.
Aid Bach trough, enemied, so Esthers feign,
Go on content, shame hinds, so tortur’d be,
Thy ore my soil, thy otter go cow-plain.
Hog for a boil, stall further, oft frog them.
O well she lay, so pleas’d his chou, act blight,
End dust his grave, then clouts so clot thy leaven:
Go flutter, O thy smart complexions tight,
Then sharkling scars twice hot Thor, milds’t thy oven,
Bat may both gaily drag by, morrows linger,
And light moth rightly made briefs lung’th, deem stranger.

A song from the White Knuckle Sandwich CD. Always a lively number!