I don’t want to be the pope in Rome,
Sitting underneath Saint Peter’s dome.
When the cardinals come knocking,
Then I guess that I’ll start locking
My door, and send those hopeful clerics home.

That’s the first of four verses; the accompaniment is slated for viola and tuba, but here it is in a form suitable for keyboard as well.

There’s always an explanation…

Uncle Bertie’s ankles are subjected to quite a bit of abuse in this song.  In subsequent verses, they’re bitten, kicked, broken, stung, and burned.  Finally, he’s eaten by a bear, leaving the ankles unharmed.  Poor Uncle Bertie!

A bit of low-tech rubber stamp stereoscopy: cross your eyes for a 3-D scene.

A round about time.

The Unknown Adjective has arrived!

“Mr. Skinner knows many terrible, terrible secrets about us. We are once again fortunate that he chooses to share them so deftly and so altruistically.” —Mark Newgarden

“Witty and ingenious comics from the exceptionally-talented writer, musician, performer, ventriloquist, and cartoonist Doug Skinner. It’s exciting to finally have these little-seen strips available in one beautiful book. You may be reminded of Voltaire or Ernie Bushmiller while reading these meticulously drawn stories featuring utterly hapless characters, but Mr. Skinner has a style all his own.” — R. Sikoryak

Will Walter and Benny find the elusive batworm? What really goes on out in “Cowboy Country”? And can Dr. Docket find a cure for all that ails Mr. Pert? You’ll discover the answers to these and other burning questions in this profusely illustrated collection of comics and picture stories from the brilliant (albeit peculiar) mind of Doug Skinner. Take a look inside and see for yourself. Your daily dilemmas will soon seem inconsequential, and the laughter you hear may turn out to be your own.

BLACK SCAT BOOKS proudly presents Doug Skinner‘s curious comics in a large format (10 x 8 x 0.3 inches) trade paperback edition, featuring over 100 pages of wicked strips designed to disrupt “normal” thought patterns.

Available from Black Scat Books.

One of our more unusual vice presidents, Dick Cheney, has been in the news again.  I combined two photos of him for this portrait, done back when he was in office.

I write musical acronyms by taking the first beat of every measure from a given piece.  For the first one, I chose Haydn’s sparkling piano sonata in C major, XVI/35.  The result keeps much of the character of Haydn, but is shorter and a bit more abrupt.  It’s still surprisingly coherent, though; Haydn’s clarity shines through.

I’ve always felt sorry for Jesus’s brother James, destined to be overshadowed.  But then, he wasn’t crucified, either.  Here are the first four verses of six.

I found a musical cipher on a tearsheet from an old encyclopedia, so I wrote a quatrain to try it out. This is what it sounds like.