The tenth string quartet consists of arrangements of some of the songs from The Doug Skinner Songbook. Here’s part of one of them.

I recently translated the collected monologues of Charles Cros; the book should be out in the fall. Cros was a poet of the late 19th century, a colleague of Rimbaud and Verlaine, but with a distinctive voice of his own. He also pioneered the comic monologue, writing a series of lively little pieces for the actor Coquelin Cadet. They seem curiously contemporary, presenting a gallery of fools and obsessives who seem to have wandered on stage by accident. Here’s the beginning of one, in which the narrator is obsessed with a catchy tune:

OBSESSION

THE OBSESSIVE: M. Coquelin Cadet

   (He enters, pale and haggard.) Ah! I’m very sick. And yet, only two days ago I was so happy! I went to the theater, to the Délassements. They had an amusing little play! Oh, so amusing! There was a young lady (in the play), and then a young man who wanted to marry the young lady, and then people who tried to prevent the marriage, and then other people who were for the marriage, anyway I don’t remember very well what happens, but they get married in the end. Then everyone is happy, and they sing an air, oh! what a tune!

   Tra la la la, la la, la la la, etc. 

   (He sings the whole air.)

   When I left the theater I was happy; such a pretty little play. It was so cold!… I turn up my collar, I walk fast, la la, my shoes ring out on the pavement, la la, la la. I live one hour from the theater. I reach my door, I ring, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. (Same air.) The doorman takes three quarters of an hour to open for me. Finally! I climb the stair (I live on the sixth floor), la, la, la, la. I light my candle, la la; I get undressed; I throw my coat on a chair, la la, my pants on another, la la; I jump into bed and go to sleep. 

   (Snoring to the same air.)

   In the morning, I wake up; the weather is superb; I had a ray of sunshine up my nose.

   I leap out of bed, tra, la, la, la, la; I duck my head in the water, glub, glub, glub, glub. (Same air.) I dry off, I knot my tie, la la; I was happy! There’s a knock at the door, I go to open, la, la, la, la. My concierge! Aha, it’s you? You really made me wait at the door last night, la la. What’s this? A letter… Versailles. (Gesture of opening and reading it.) La, la, la la. Ah, my God! My poor aunt… On her deathbed…! My hat! Coat, umbrella! I’m downstairs; I catch a cab: Driver! Saint-Lazare station, five francs for a tip, la, la, la la. I get to the station; I forget my umbrella in the car, car, car, car, car. (Same air.) The ticket window was closing, I got my ticket anyway, there I am in the train, oof, oof, oof (Same air.), the train that’s leaving is the express, press, press, press, press. (Same air.)

A piece for brass I wrote when I was sixteen, recently recopied for legibility. It was built on fourths, seconds, and hocketing, and, as I recall, was bracing and growly.

A piece for piano, taken from the third movement of my 9th String Quartet, for two violas and two ‘cellos. It’s sort of a cross between a minuet and a gavotte, going back and forth between 3/4 and 4/4. Here’s the first page…

The ninth string quartet is for two violas and two ‘cellos: a rondo (which includes a round, appropriately), a fervent andante, a moderato that shuttles between a minuet and a gavotte, and a tango. Here’s the first page:

A sleepy piece for viola and piano. Here’s the first page…

No Bile! is now available from Black Scat Books! This is my 8th translation of the peerless French proto-dadaist Alphonse Allais (1854-1905). This collection of what he called his “anthumous works” includes love stories, revenge stories, short-shorts, and unclassifiable prose, all affronting the reader with startlingly modern black humor, imagination, and wordplay. Among the highlights are “Absinthes,” an internal monologue about the effects of the Green Fairy; “Poor Césarine!”, a grisly tale of obsessive love; and “A Good Society,” which proposes collecting used matches for the poor. Translated, annotated, and illustrated by Doug Skinner. With six extra stories! Available from Black Scat Books or Amazon.

A black cat investigates six absinthe glasses, in an illustration for my translation of No Bile!, by Alphonse Allais, to be published soon by Black Scat Books. Most of the stories were originally published in Le Chat Noir, Allais often mentions absinthe, and I’ve included six extra stories.

Here’s a little catalogue of what I showed at the Mothership:

1. ????: Non-narrative detective action, from my book The Unknown Adjective.

2. ALPHONSE ALLAIS MOCKS THE SPIRIT OF SCHOPENHAUER: The frontispiece for my translation of Allais’s book Long Live Life!

3. ASTERISKS: Chat Noir endnotes, for Double Over, another Allais translation.

4. BACK YARD: Spring is here.

5. BUGS, NOT DRUGS!: From a cut-paper animatic video for my old band, White Knuckle Sandwich. It was filmed by Anney Bonney for an early streaming site, Pseudo.com.

6. CAPTAIN CAP EXPLAINS THE POTATO: From my illustrated translation of Captain Cap: His Adventures, His Ideas, His Drinks, by Alphonse Allais.

7. CHONCHON: A scary figure from Chilean folklore. This one doesn’t look so bad.

8. COCKROACH: Ew.

9. A CURIOUS PHYSIOLOGICAL INDUSTRY: A broadside from Black Scat Books. Design by the inimitable Norman Conquest.

10: EASY PUZZLE: Much easier than most jigsaw puzzles.

11. EVELYN, BEVERLY, CAROLYN, AND DORIS: From a picture story about four women trying to get somewhere, in The Unknown Adjective.

12: THE FLYING SAUCER SUBCULTURE: The pencil rough for the cover of a booklet by John Keel — now, of course, a rare collectors’ item.

13: GIDEON BIBLE CARD: I like to replace Gideon Bibles with other books. I leave this card.

14: HOW UNUSUAL: A comic strip about things falling from the sky, for Nickelodeon Magazine.

15 & 16: INDEX CARDS: I make thousands of these. They help with insomnia.

17: LIMERICKSHAW: A broadside from Black Scat Books. Design by Norman Conquest.

18: THE MOON HOWLING AT A DOG: For a slide show by my old band, White Knuckle Sandwich, at the Kitchen in NYC.

19: MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS: Once a regular feature in the online journal Le Scat Noir, which is now, alas, no more.

20: NO EVIL: Done for a group show at the Mary Anthony Gallery in NYC, way back when.

21: NOT FUNNY: My contribution to that fine magazine, Weirdo.

22 & 23: THE PASSING CLOUDS MOCK THE SKY’S STASIS AND PURITY: A score for an imaginary instrument.

24: RUBBER STAMP STEREOSCOPY: Cross your eyes to see the pictures in stereo. If it doesn’t work for you, look at something else.

25: SEA SERPENT: There’s always an explanation.

26: TRAVEL SKETCHES: When I travel, I prefer a pen to a camera.

27: VIOLINIST: It’s often difficult to play to the room.

28: WALTER & BENNY HUNT THE ELUSIVE BATWORM: A color version, done for the anthology Typhon, edited by Danny Hellman.

I also read “The Royal Touch,” from The Snowman Three Doors Down, and joined Paul McMahon on his song “Life Isn’t Fair.”

POSTSCRIPT: You can hear the original recording of the song, with me on melodica, here.